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I refuse to get married. © Getty Images 'The MC was fired mid-reception.' 23 women share their wedding horror stories.
Not because I don't believe in marriage, or think a wedding is a waste of money. Instead, I simply have read far too many horror stories.
Tales of drunken Scottish groomsmen accidentally flashing attendees, an elaborate wedding cake being dropped on the floor, a bridesmaid vomiting into her bouquet and the bride's dress being ruined in the wheel of the horse-drawn carriage. And these are all just examples from my own family circle.
Given I'm 23, I will perhaps change my mind on this resistance towards weddings and marriage later in life. Maybe I will mature as an individual – or find a certain special someone who will convince me otherwise that weddings are a must-do. But until then, I will continue to devour nightmare wedding stories with a combination of shock and laughter – and I implore you to do the same.
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So without further ado, here are 23 chaotic disasters from the women who experienced them. Read at your own risk.
"Our wedding was on the hottest day in history in February 2017 – plus it was an outdoor ceremony and reception in a shed with no air-con."
"I got my contact lens stuck in my eye and had to go to the ER at four in the morning while still in my wedding dress."
"When my sister got married, she accidentally had the train of her wedding dress caught under the golf buggy, and she fell over as a result AND managed to rip off her toenail. Getting the dress caught underneath the golf buggy also shredded the whole bottom of the garment."
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"My photographer hadn't been to bed the night before, so in a blurry/half-sleep state, all the pictures were of my hot bridesmaid and not of me – aka, the bride."
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"The bride was a vegetarian and the caterers didn't provide any vego meals on the day."
"My sister was meant to be my bridesmaid. A few days before the wedding, she sent me a message saying she could no longer attend as she had 'something else come up'. We aren't exactly super close, but when I enquired to see what she had on instead, she told me she was going on a date with a really hot semi-famous guy. I don't care how famous he is – my wedding takes precedence!"
"I accidentally booked the florist for the wrong day – I only realised on the day when she didn't turn up..."
"I came down with a serious case of gastro just after the ceremony. I spent the whole night viciously vomiting."
"My father-in-law lit all the sparklers at once and they exploded – burning his hands. Luckily he was okay though."
"I was a bridesmaid at my best friend's wedding. It was the most magical day ever and planning it up until the day before was an absolute dream. However, I made a grave error. Until the day before the big event, I hadn't tried on my wedding heels. When I did, the buckle wouldn't go over my foot. They were entirely too small. We tried to make it work with ribbons and other things, but it was just one big fail. Luckily, my best friend was the world's biggest angel and didn't care that I walked in white sneakers. Thankfully, you couldn't see my shoes due to the length of my dress."
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"Nothing can be worse than when a cyclone ripped through your wedding venue just prior to the big day."
"At the end of the reception, my drunk mother-in-law was going around to each of the guests, assuring them she had not picked out the menu or event decor as it was 'ghastly'. When I confronted her about it, she then started crying, saying I had 'ruined' her son's 'special day' by going for the all-white theme rather than the white and pink theme that she had suggested."
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"The MC went rogue in his on-mic address and speech, leading him to be 'fired' mid-reception. I haven't seen him since."
"A month after the wedding, we found out from our photographer that he had lost all our wedding photos after we walked down the aisle. That means we have no portrait pictures of us between the ceremony and reception, plus no first dance, no cake cutting – nothing."
"My three-year-old niece was holding our wedding rings. She dropped mine and it went under a floorboard."
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"The celebrant kept referring to himself in the third person during the entire ceremony."
"My mum and dad got married in a courthouse. It was a really special day but started in calamity when we parked. It turned out the venue was a 30-minute walk away and we had to be there in 15 minutes. Everyone was running. My poor grandparents. My poor parents. My poor little sisters."
"I broke my tooth on my breakfast doughnut and had to go to the dentist between hair and makeup."
"We had the wrong name inscribed with icing on our wedding cake."
"The flower girl decided she was bored mid-walking down the aisle, and one of the bridesmaids had to drag the little girl to her seat at the front while she had a temper tantrum. Then as the bride finally made her way down the aisle, the flower girl yelled out 'my dress is better'."
"The best man's speech included a PowerPoint presentation and handouts – I thought it would never end."
"The groom got so drunk at the wedding that he had to be carried out. Meanwhile, the bride's family placed bets on how long the marriage would last."
"My husband had his buck's party one week before the wedding. A rogue stripper was invited, and she had a bit too much to drink and decided to jump onto one of the groomsmen's back. He ended up breaking his back as a result and was taken in a chopper to hospital. The next week when the wedding rolled around, that groomsmen was wearing a back brace. His wife was not in attendance."
Do you have a wedding horror story? Share it in the comments below!
Feature Image: Canva/Instagram @clare.stephenss.
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