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Style: Machos are out, softies are not in – how should a man be now?

Fitness influencer confronts man who took snaps of her asleep on plane

  Fitness influencer confronts man who took snaps of her asleep on plane A fitness influencer has shared a video confronting a man on a plane after claiming he 'took photos' of her while she was sleeping - with fellow passengers applauding as the man is led off by police.

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  Machos are out, softies are not in – how should a man be now? © Provided by Refresh Lifestyle AU

The Men are in crisis: while there has been a lot of discussion about women and femininity in recent years, the concept of masculinity has unfortunately fallen by the wayside a bit. Nowadays there is the man as muscleman, sole earner, houseman or even as a part-time daddy. macho Being a softie is somehow out, but being a softie isn’t really in either – the man doesn’t have it easy in this jungle of male types. For a long time theFather the first role model in terms of masculinity, but now there is no longer a common role model of a man. Qualities such as discipline, ambition, aggression and a sense of duty are fortunatelygenderneutral. However, there is one catch: the man has to completely reorient himself and find his own definition of masculinity. That doesn’t seem to be quite so easy, because in the USA there is now even a newly introduced Master in masculinity.

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A separate policy for men

Men’s groups joining together to demand their own gender policies, like women, is relatively new. The so-called Men’s Policy deals with the male or also paternal interests. Since 2000, the network existing in Germany „Forum Men in Theory and Practice of Gender Relations„, which regularly addresses issues of men’s politics such as „What makes a body a male body?“ or even the circumcision of boys.

It seems to be the answer to the preceding Emancipation Movement because this development also has consequences for the world of men. Does such a thing as „masculinity“ still exist at all? – Supposedly there is, because in the midst of this great disorientation, one man seems to know exactly the answer to this question: Psychologist Björn Süfke. He specializes in therapies for men and is the author of the book Men reinvent yourselves. ZEITjUNG he reveals his perception of masculinity:

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A man who has problems and weaknesses is not a true guy

„I’m always struck by the fact that masculinity is perceived as something problematic these days. The new, modern images of men in particular are not taken very seriously at the moment, but no one wants the traditional man anymore either. In the media, the man who takes care of his children and runs the household is often depicted with a cuddly toy in his hand. He is being ridiculed.“

Süfke sees the biggest problem in the fact that such illustrations do not take into account the existing problems of the Men not really respect and uphold the traditional image of the man. Surveys confirm that women don’t really know what they want either. They would find a loving househusband nice, but on the strong shoulder to lean on, they also don’t want to do without – a contradiction. What should man be like?

The traditional male image: breadwinner, protector and strong shoulder – still relevant?

„Exactly how the man is supposed to be now is basically not yet entirely clear, because we are in a kind of transitional situation. New masculinity‘ doesn’t exist at all, it’s more of a neologism of the Media. For me, ’new masculinity‘ is more of a negative foil, because the ’new man‘ essentially defines himself exclusively by not wanting to be the old man. The achievements of women in the last 50 years have fortunately also shaken up the image of men, yet there is still no recognized alternative draft of the male image,“ says Süfke.

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Did men have it easier in the past in their clearly defined role as breadwinners and protectors of the family?

„You can’t blame women for wanting to be the egg-laying, wooly-milk boar. I myself am a triple Father and wouldn’t want to swap places with my father. It’s an overwhelming situation that arises from a loosening of fixed rules – great in my eyes and rather a super opportunity for the men to be able to develop individually,“ the psychologist finds.

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The fact that the question of true masculinity is still unanswered is also shown by the ever-growing market of men’s coaches. Men’s coach Björn Thorsten Leimbach offers seminars for men who don’t know whether they should be the nice man next door or the strong shoulder to lean on. The expert in matters of Masculinity has the following Opinion on this problem: „The nicer they become, the more they lose themselves as men. But most women also have little interest in a ’nice‘ man. As soon as a woman has dominance over ‚her‘ man, she finds herself in the role of mother, taking care of a little boy. There she prefers to look for a ‚real‘ man to experience something exciting.“

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Masculinity for Gen-Y: „The opportunity to grow a beard“.

Leimbach thus indirectly advises men to rely on the traditional qualities of a man in order to impress a woman. Difficult business, this masculinity. But what does our generation have to say about this topic?

Jan, 21-year-old University student from Cologne, sees the whole thing as less problematic and also relies on classic values: „I believe that masculinity today is still defined by the classic concept of a gentleman and, of course, by the possibility of growing a beard.“ The beard as a symbol of pure masculinity, you can definitely leave it there. Irony of fate that this trend was launched right now.

Daniel, 22, student teacher ,has a very clear idea of MasculinityI believe that many women still long for this traditional image of the strong man. Secretly, they want to be dominated by a man in some situations in life. Personally, I myself also like Men and can say that self-determination, straightforwardness and rational thinking are qualifications I expect in a man.“

Do the men of the Gen-Y So does that mean it’s more in line with the traditional image of men? – No, says Marcus, 28, from Munich: „I think we should take an example from Scandinavian countries. There, it’s a regular practice for male parents to stay at home and look after the children. A contemporary approach, in my opinion.“ Simon, 20, a business administration student, also thinks that the traditional image of men is long outdated: „For me, typical attributes such as height, muscles and Facial hair still very masculine, however, they are also not mandatory qualities that one must have in order to be considered masculine. Masculinity and femininity are mixing more and more, because Self-confidenceFor me, determination and a personality of one’s own are qualities that a woman should also possess. Nevertheless, I must admit that a more feminine man is at the same time less masculine for me – very confused the whole thing.“

Simon probably sums up the disorientation of our men once again. It will probably take a while until the boys have really found each other.

Image source: Joshua Munoz under CC0 license

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