Drinking tea daily would prolong life
supplied by Cover Media Good news for tea drinkers: Drinking it was associated with a longer lifespan. The consumption of black tea is known for its many benefits, including an improvement in heart and intestinal health and a drop in blood pressure and blood sugar.
© Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images; Alyssa Powell/Insider Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images; Alyssa Powell/Insider
- Women of color told Insider they face stereotypes, hypersexualization, and racism in online dating.
- Black women specifically report feeling unsafe on dating apps.
- Dating events offer some women of color a safe space to date while being themselves.
When Jada Draffin, a 27-year-old assistant director at a university, attended a speed dating event in New York City, she was pleasantly surprised with how relaxed she felt meeting other singles. "It kind of felt like a safe space and I didn't have to worry about race even coming up in the conversation," she told Insider. Draffin is biracial (Black and white) and says she's often been fetishized by non-Black men on dating apps. After stumbling upon WeMetIRL on TikTok, a curated NYC-based speed dating event focused on people of color, Draffin saw an opportunity to avoid the microaggressions she so often faced online.
How to Spot Romance Scams: 7 Telltale Signs to Watch Out For
Romance scams are on the rise. Here's how to protect yourself—and what to do if you fall prey to the fraud. The post How to Spot Romance Scams: 7 Telltale Signs to Watch Out For appeared first on Reader's Digest.Run by con artists who fake romantic interest so they can swindle you out of money or steal your identity, romance scams are just one of many online scams. The crimes typically take place on dating apps and social media (though they can happen in real life), and they often involve catfishing and love bombing. From military romance scams to pig butchering (more on that ominous act in a moment), romance scams have one thing in common: They capitalize on our human need for love.
A dating profile photographer who charges $900 per session explains how he coaches his most awkward clients into eye-catching shots
- German Marin is a New York City photographer who specializes in dating profiles.
- He works with clients to produce photos that show their personalities and help them stand out.
- He walked Insider through his process and provided his top tips for dating profile pictures.
German Marin is a New York City-based photographer who has helped local singles take dating profile pictures since 2013.
Marin's photography career began in 2010 when he shot everything from weddings to businesses' special events. Three years later, Marin connected with a matchmaker while taking photos for his husband's online dating event. (They met online too, Marin told Insider.) The matchmaker hired him to take quality photos of one of her male clients, and soon after Marin realized his entire business could be based on dating.
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Today, he works with 10 to 15 clients a month, coaching them through photoshoots that can be anywhere from one to three hours, depending on how much money they're willing to spend on a session. Marin charges $500 for one hour, $900 for two, and $1,500 or three. Each session includes a get-to-know-you interview with Marin and a few outfit changes.
Marin told Insider how he gets to know clients and makes them feel comfortable taking eye-catching photos in public, even if they're introverted or picture-averse.
Before shooting, Marin calls each client and asks them about their interests, dating goals, and where they spend their time.
Marin estimates 95% of his clients are men, and most are in their 20s and 30s. But he also gets clients who are in their 60s and back on the dating scene after a divorce.
They also discuss what to wear during their initial phone call.
He tells clients to pick the outfits they feel the most powerful, comfortable, and sexy while wearing.
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"If you get a lot of compliments in a certain outfit, definitely wear that one," Marin said.
Here, Marin's client said he enjoyed fitness, but wanted to avoid a cheesy-looking pose. He took photos of him stretching and jogging while looking away from the camera.
Marin also likes this photo because it highlights the client's physical features well, serving two purposes.
"You can really see his eyes," he said.
Marin said he's against clients wearing sunglasses in their photos.
He said he'll allow clients to hold sunglasses as a prop, or place them on their heads to complete an outfit.
Ultimately, their eyes should show because they offer warmth and connection in photos, Marin said.
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Movement is an important element to a show-stopping dating profile picture, Marin said.
To add movement in a natural way, he'll tell clients to walk towards him "like they're walking with a friend," as he snaps multiple photos.
Having a conversation with a client while he takes photos also helps, Marin said.
If a client has pets, Marin said snapping a photo of them 'with their fur babies' is a must. This is one of his all-time favorite client photos.
Marin said in his experience, photos with pets always make a dating profile stand out.
Marin also loves this photo because his client's approachable personality shines through.
To get your personality to shine in your own dating profile photos, Marin recommends getting a close friend to take your photos or pick them out. They're less hard on you than your are on yourself, Marin said.
"When you let someone you trust pick your photos, the way they see you, you don't see yourself that way. You only see the things that you don't like about yourself, but they're able to see the beauty in you."
According to "The Dating Divide," a book that explores race and preference in the era of dating apps, "Black men and women feel walled off by the demonized and hyper-sexualized images absorbed by non-Black daters." White supremacy and westernized media play a large role in projecting Black women as undesirable, which may then negatively impact their experience with dating online.
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Joy Pate, a therapist based in Long Beach, California, says the most common issue she sees among her Black woman clients who use dating apps is being fetishized. "They'll get weird comments about something related to their appearance, like their hair or their skin color or the shape of their body, which really signals that the connection is not authentic. It's a way to objectify someone," Pate said.
'They don't want me to be with them in public'
As a plus-sized, biracial woman, Draffin's experience mimics Pate's findings. "There are some men that I've encountered that will sexualize my size, but only behind closed doors. They don't want me to be with them in public, so people won't know that they're actually into someone that's above a size 12," she said. But at a dating event, Draffin says she is able to bring her full self to the table and dodge men who wouldn't approach her in a public setting.
Yesenia Ramos, a 28-year-old social worker in Newark, New Jersey, faces a different kind of aggression on dating apps — stereotypes. "People will ask me if I want children immediately, am I looking to get married, or if I'm crazy because I'm Spanish," she said, noting these are common stereotypes placed on Hispanic women. So, in September, she tried another approach and attended a dating event that was specifically popular for attracting people of color, but found herself most interested in an Italian man.
Ultimately, Ramos said the experience at the dating event helped her recognize how dating apps can encourage people to have a narrow-minded perspective — similar to the one that was sometimes projected onto her. "I was shocked because there were people there that I would probably never approach or never talk to if I saw them on an app. But because I was able to see their personality and their body language toward me, it opened my eyes to other cultures," she said.
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Stereotyping on dating apps is also an issue Pate sees with her clients, and plays into why she believes women of color, especially Black women, are gravitating toward dating events. "I've had women tell me that they've been asked if they can twerk by a non-Black person and just other really silly questions that are obviously based in stereotypes or what that other person thinks a person of their race should be doing, whether that's a specific body shape or something related to the culture," Pate said.
Feeling unsafe on dating apps
"I think women of color think a little more than others about people's intentions when dating," Ramos said. When you combine stereotypes, aggressions, and sexual harassment from total strangers online, it is no surprise that many women of color report feeling unsafe on dating apps.
According to a survey hosted by BLK, the largest dating app for Black singles, 29 percent of women respondents said they don't feel safe dating on mainstream dating apps. Meeting at an event that is specifically geared toward dating, with other people in attendance, offers women of color a safe space they can't always find online.
While men of color report being subjected to stereotypes and oversexualization on dating apps by women, many do not see safety as an issue. "A lot of cis hetero men, regardless of how attractive they are, seldom receive compliments from women; this is true in person and over dating apps. Since these gestures are hard to come by, when they do come around, they tend to make our day rather than make us uncomfortable," said David Victor, a 25-year-old senior consultant in New York City who uses dating apps and has attended a dating event.
Attending a dating event requires an additional level of effort and intention that is different from dating apps, like getting dressed and showing up to a place as opposed to the ease of swiping on a phone. "There's a bigger chance that the men showing up to an event are actually serious about finding a partner versus someone who's conveniently just scrolling around on an app for the purpose of hooking up," Pate said, noting that dating events offer a lot more transparency in being able to see and feel a connection with a person.
"You can read the person's body language and kind of see how they're saying things, and you can feel if they're connected authentically and genuinely to you. On apps, there's a lot more people hiding behind their phone and saying things that they typically wouldn't, or being a person that they typically wouldn't be. It's a little harder to hide that in person sometimes."
Attention Serial Monogamists, I Am Literally Begging You to Try Casual Dating .
No strings + no stress = the chill AF dating experience your love life needs rn.If you’re currently braving the dating app trenches, then it may seem like everyone on Bumble or Hinge is looking for either a one-night stand or a lifelong partner to cling to till death do them part, The Notebook-style. While this may lead you to believe everyone is bringing an all-or-nothing energy to dating these days, more people are interested in going on casual dates than you might think. A 2019 Pew Research survey found that 36 percent of adults in the U.S. were either open to finding casual dates or solely wanted to date casually.