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© Provided by INSIDER My intention was never to be a stay-at-home parent. Laura Donovan - It's been over three years since I've had a full-time job.
- Being a stay-at-home parent was never my plan, and it's the equivalent of having two and a half jobs.
- I've been trying to get a job, but the constant rejection is getting to me.
"What do you like about yourself?"A simple question that I just couldn't answer.
I was on my second round of interviews for what seemed like the perfect job after my almost four-year hiatus from the workforce largely brought on by motherhood. I found myself stammering and spouting filler words, unable to muster anything from my prepared talking points. Though I made it to the final round of interviews, I wasn't hired.
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Raising two little boys during a pandemic, an interstate move, and an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis for my oldest, hasn't afforded me much time for self-reflection. I've been turned down plenty of times since starting my job search, but getting rejected after making it so far for this seemingly ideal role was a crushing blow given all the setbacks I've already faced in my career.
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18 people share the heartbreaking, inspiring, and unforgettable moments that shaped their careers over the last 2 years of the pandemic
- It's been almost exactly two years since COVID-19 was declared a pandemic.
- A lot has happened to workers, including layoffs, work-from-home mandates, and career changes.
- A school nurse, a retired lawyer, a stay-at-home dad, and others told us what's different.
In March 2020, Zach Hefferen was on paternity leave from a job he'd held for 16 years. Dan Seiders was managing tours for bands. Truly Render was working at the University of Michigan. Tara Maxam was a banker and loan officer in Florida. Phyllis Beech-Giraldo was an immigration lawyer in California.
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Today, Hefferen is a full-time stay-at-home dad. Seiders works as a data engineer. Render runs her own bookstore. Maxam drives trucks. Beech-Giraldo is retired.
It's been two years since COVID-19 was declared a pandemic — and a lot has happened to a lot of workers. Faced with lockdowns, layoffs, and plenty of uncertainty, employees and entrepreneurs alike have had to rejigger their lives and reevaluate what their careers mean to them.
Some left jobs on their own accord, eager to pursue a new or underlying passion, seek out better compensation or opportunities, or discover a higher quality of life. Others were thrust into the unknown and forced to consider their next move carefully. And still others remained in positions they'd held before the pandemic, enduring seismic shifts to companies, staff, and how business is run.
Insider spoke with 18 people about the moments and moves that shaped their careers over the past couple of years. These are their stories.
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I left a job I'd held for 16 years to become a stay-at-home dad. I never thought I'd do this, but it's been a blessing.
Zach Hefferen, his three young kids, and his wife moved to Maine from NYC in March 2020. In the process, he decided to quit his job to take care of his kids full time.
"I never thought this was the direction my life would go in," he said. "Without the pandemic, I'm not sure it would have."
Read Hefferen's story here.
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I've started traveling the world while working remotely. At 29, it's helped me regain a sense of control over my life.
Lulu Safdie started to enjoy her job less and less as she worked remotely. So she made a change — not just switching jobs but also locations, too. She's since worked in places like Italy and Uruguay.
"I'm embracing this lifestyle wholeheartedly. It's not easy to set boundaries with remote work, and I'm still learning to do that, but it's been a huge change in my life," she said.
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Read Safdie's story here.
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I cut my weekly work hours down from 70 to 20 after realizing the impact it had on my kid, and it's put me on a better career path
Bridgette Borst Ombres found herself clocking up to 70 hours a week in her job as vice president of communications and strategic partnerships at an IT company. When she noticed her daughter was imitating her in ways she didn't like, she realized she had to cut back and focus on her family. Now she runs a consulting business in her free time.
"The pandemic made me realize that consulting work allowed me the flexibility that I needed and wanted for my family," she said.
Read Borst Ombres' story here.
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I shut down my law firm and retired 10 years early. It's like being 5 years old again.
Phyllis Beech-Giraldo planned to retire at 70. Then her law firm went remote, and she found there was an added stress to her job of dealing with anxious clients amid a pandemic. So she decided to close up shop and spend more time on her hobbies.
"In a way, my job got much harder during the pandemic. My clients were angry and stressed, uncomfortable and scared, and a lot of that was being taken out on me," she said. "I understand the stress they were under, but in my 60s, I just don't want to have that in my life."
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Read Beech-Giraldo's story here.
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I quit my job — then a pandemic happened. I thought I'd made the worst decision of my life, but it led to my dream career.
Tammie Ash quit her job as an engineer designing bridges for big infrastructure projects in February 2020. When the pandemic hit a month later, she thought she'd made the worst decision of her life. But then she set her sights on working in TV and eventually landed a role at the BBC.
"The pandemic was a bridge, ironically, to a new career. It forced me to seek opportunities outside of my comfort zone," she said. "Pre-pandemic, I took my time for granted. Post-pandemic, I'll be utilizing my time and choosing meaningful projects to work on."
Read Ash's story here.
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When I was laid off from my job of 5 years, it allowed me to spend more time with my kids. Now, I'm in a role that puts family first.
Joshua Meadows had worked his way up the ranks at Enterprise when his role was eliminated at the beginning of the pandemic. He decided to make the most of his time with his kids.
"To have a position you'd worked the past few years to land ripped from you because of the pandemic — something that's out of your control and nothing you can do about — stunk," he said. "But I'm a man of faith. I believe everything happens for a reason."
Read Meadows' story here.
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After 11 years at the same company, I became bored and bitter. The pandemic was the kick in the pants I needed to find a role in another field that gave me joy.
Angela Hatem worked for the same nonprofit for 11 years and said she enjoyed most of her years there. But the bitterness and boredom were starting to build, and it all came crashing down after she got COVID-19.
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After taking stock of what kinds of responsibilities make her really happy, she pursued tech and landed a job at a consulting firm.
"I don't want to give the pandemic too much credit, if any, in helping me ask myself the tough questions. I would have gotten there eventually. But it's hard not to be grateful for such a powerful kick in the pants," she said.
Read Hatem's story here.
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I'm a working mother trying to have a career from home. It feels as if I'm succeeding at nothing.
Larisa Ellison, an integration design engineer for an automotive company, went into lockdowns and remote work while pregnant and with an 8-month-old. She reflected on how her new setup has affected her career trajectory and home life.
"This really has changed my perspective on what we have been asking working mothers to do. It's honestly ludicrous," she said.
Read Ellison's story here.
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I quit my job to open my dream bookstore in the midst of a pandemic. It's the exact work-life arrangement my family needed.
Truly Render opened her bookstore Booksweet in August and officially left her job as director of communications and marketing at the Stamps School of Art and Design at the University of Michigan in January.
"Work-life balance was possible before the pandemic. But during the pandemic — with the Zoom schooling, the mental-health journey, the 24/7 work demands — there was no balance to be found," she said.
Read Render's story here.
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I'd spent 15 years in the music industry before I was furloughed. Thanks to a coding boot camp, I'm now a data engineer with a better work-life balance.
Dan Seiders worked as a tour manager and audio engineer before he was furloughed at the start of the pandemic. Six months in, he decided to attend a 12-week online boot camp.
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"It's strange because I don't think I would have made this change without the pandemic," he said. "Don't get me wrong — our life before was good. It was working for us, but this is working better."
Read Seiders' story here.
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I moved states to care for my family after my sister died. It taught me the importance of putting life before work.
Ebony Simpson, who's in her early 30s, has worked in public relations for 17 years. When work went remote, then her sister died, she had to uproot her life in Houston and move to Indianapolis to take care of her niece.
"The pandemic has changed my perspective about work," she said. "Work is going to always be there. But if you don't take care of yourself physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, you won't be able to show up for work."
Read Simpson's story here.
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I'm a 70-year-old art appraiser with multiple sclerosis. The pandemic has extended my career and made my work life easier.
Cynthia Shaver is a senior art appraiser for Asian art with multiple sclerosis. Normally she'd appraise in person, but when lockdowns began, she started getting requests for virtual appointments. Now she's busier than ever.
"Before the pandemic, my mobility was becoming more and more of a factor. Now, it's not an issue at all, so I'm happy because I love what I do," she said.
Read Shaver's story here.
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I'm an elder caregiver who's faced death and isolation during the pandemic. I don't have time to think about work-life balance.
Sonia Rivas cared for an older couple during the pandemic. When the husband died, it was her job to keep his grieving wife experiencing joy every day.
"Work is just part of life — it's something you always have to do. The bills keep coming, even during a pandemic," she said.
Read Rivas' story here.
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I went from working as a security guard and Amazon delivery helper to running my own web-design agency — and now I make up to $57,000 a month
Diego Diaz, now 23, was working the graveyard shifts as a security guard when the pandemic hit. After quitting that job and spending some time as an Amazon delivery-driver helper, he founded Ammo Studio, a website-development agency, in February 2021.
"The pandemic helped me realize there are real opportunities out there, and these opportunities are especially available on the internet, even for people like me who didn't have money or a network growing up," he said.
Read Diaz's story here.
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I left my job at a bank to become a truck driver. I love the independence and the time outdoors.
Eager to spend more time outdoors, Tara Maxam decided to use her time during the pandemic to go to truck-driving school. In August, she officially started shifts and now runs routes between Georgia and Florida.
"As an essential worker, the pandemic has also made me realize how much more important my role in society is. Truck drivers are necessary for transporting everything. We are the lifeline of the world," she told Insider.
Read Maxam's story here.
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I've worked in PR since my dancing career was put on hold. An office job removed the pressure I felt and made me more ambitious.
Chloe Murray, now 28, was set to audition for "Mamma Mia!" but it kept getting pushed back because of COVID-19. When it was eventually canceled, she went looking for a stable job — and ended up working in public relations.
"It's changed my outlook on my career. When you're in any entertainment industry, the goal is just to work," she said.
"But now I'm in a full-time job, I can concentrate on becoming more ambitious, to progress, to develop, learn, and climb the ladder within the environment I'm working in," she added.
Read Murray's story here.
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I'm a school nurse whose job changed overnight. The politics have been frustrating, but there's no job I'd rather do.
Heidi DeSchepper always wanted to be a nurse. But her time in an elementary school during the pandemic has changed how she sees her role.
"COVID-19 has taught me that we just never know what tomorrow's going to bring. So it's made me enjoy my time at home more with my husband and kids and also made me leave work at work more," she said.
Read DeSchepper's story here.
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I thought being an in-house lawyer was my dream job — until I opened my own firm. It's been a terrifying and deeply rewarding journey.
Alyson Decker was working as an in-house counsel at the start of the pandemic. After dealing with long hours and a pay cut, she decided to open her own practice.
"You can't make the leap until you're ready to fall and fail, which is terrifying!" she said. "But the pandemic made so many of us realize that we regret the opportunities we didn't take — the adventures, the travel — and now those things are limited. It made me realize I had to go out and get what I wanted instead of waiting for everything to be perfect before trying something new."
Read Decker's story here.
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I didn't plan to be a stay at home parent
I became a stay-at-home mom by accident in the fall of 2018. I was a web producer for a true crime series that was canceled shortly before the birth of my son, so there was no job to return to after maternity leave.
Before working in TV, I had a fulfilling career in online news writing. Some people called my job loss a "blessing in disguise," but the isolation, repetitive days, and lack of intellectual stimulation made me feel like all the work I'd done prior to starting a family had been for nothing, and that my professional identity would never recover.
I eventually hired a babysitter and started picking up freelance gigs. Just as I was cultivating a new body of work and feeling like I'd stabilized my career, the pandemic hit and I was pregnant with my second son. I put writing on hold to ride out the first year of the pandemic and then to plan our move from California to Oregon.
Meanwhile, my resume went stale and even those willing to take a chance on me might not be willing to pay what I made four years ago, when I'd been a working professional for the better part of a decade.
Being a full-time parent is work
Just because I don't receive a salary doesn't mean I'm not working, though. Stay-at-home moms shoulder a tremendous workload, juggling the equivalent of two and a half full-time jobs, according to a study from 2018.
The unpaid labor — cleaning, meal planning, managing appointments, laundry — is often undervalued by outsiders, further eroding my confidence while drowning in to-do list items.
Erin Hatton, an associate professor at the University of Buffalo's Department of Sociology who researches various labor inequalities, wrote in an email to Insider that because society devalues these sort of household contributions, full-time parents may feel "frustrated and even stigmatized, since they're seen as not really working in a culture that prioritizes work."
One reason not to ask a stay-at-home parent what they do all day.
With sky-high childcare costs, partially driven by the years-long shortage, sending children to daycare before securing a job isn't an option for most moms in the same situation as me. Not all jobs pay enough to justify childcare, either.
"For so many women, the costs of childcare exceed or barely equal their wages, so they decide to exit the labor force," Hatton said. "Maybe they try to make money on the side somehow as they work full time in the home, leaving them overburdened and underemployed."
When asked what I liked about myself in my failed job interview, there was a single nugget of coherence in my bumbling answer: "Moms are marathoners, dads are sprinters. I'm a marathoner, and I believe slow and steady wins the race."
I must have known in my heart that I wouldn't be getting the job, but I'll rehabilitate my work life again. I just need a little more time.
Read the original article on Insider
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