“The date starts way before you show up on the date,” Logan Ury, director of relationship science at dating app Hinge and author of best-selling How To Not Die Alone tells Vogue. “The date starts hours before; when you’re getting into the mindset for the date. So, whether you think the date will go poorly, or you think the date will go well, you’re right,” she explains. “The way to get into the right mindset for dating is wearing an outfit that you feel great in.”
Surely, nobody actively tries to wear an outfit they feel less than great in, but high-stakes situations can lead to sartorial overthinking. There’s a lot to juggle: cultural norms to adhere to, the desire to honor your personal style, and the activity you’re doing on said date, to name a few. All valid considerations that can muddy the waters between what you may “want” to wear and what you feel you “should” wear. While your outfit may look the part, if it doesn’t get you in the right headspace, it’s already wrong.
Target's Fall Sweater Sale Has Cardigans, Crewnecks, and Fleeces Starting at Just $14
Just in time for it to get cold enough to wear all of these at once. instyle - 16 Available at Target instyle - 26 Available at Target instyle - 16 Available at Target instyle - 20 Available at Target You'll love Target's take on turtlenecks, including this elevated basic with modern balloon sleeves from Who What Wear. An unexpected find, this heavyweight quarter-zip makes the traditional sweatshirt style office-appropriate with rib-knit detailing and a cozy cotton blend.
And if you are what Ury calls a “hesitator” (someone who feels they aren’t ready to date until they’ve lost ten pounds, landed a new job, cleaned up their apartment, etc.), you can get debilitated by the task of finding a good date night outfit that helps exude confidence. “How do we reduce the friction to actually get them out there and get them dating again?” Ury asks rhetorically, “Because nobody is ever one-hundred percent ready for anything, and nobody is ever 100 percent ready for dating,” One of Ury’s solutions? Having a few fantastic date outfits ready and on hand. “Not having any clothes that are flattering, or that fit well, or that you’re comfortable in could be yet another excuse for why you think you shouldn’t go on a date,” she says.
This Is What Stress Does to Elite Athletes' Bodies, Say Experts
Negative stress responses can be harmful to both physical and mental health – here's how some elite athletes cope with it.This is something 18-year-old British tennis player Emma Raducanu wrote about on social media following her retirement from Wimbledon. Though the young player had been doing well in the tournament, she began having difficulty regulating her breathing and heart rate during a match, which she later chalked up to "the accumulation of the excitement and the buzz.
Her recommendation is to have “three to four outfits that you feel comfortable in, that you feel make you look attractive, desirable, confident—an outfit that helps you look and feel your best. Then, you are going to bring that confident, sexy, flirty energy to the date,” she explains. In order to ensure you’ve hit the fashionable-mark is by testing it out in advance. “Make sure you have a bra that is comfortable, not one where the straps are constantly falling off, and you’re adjusting it, or your pants aren’t so tight that you can get them on, but you can’t comfortably sit at a picnic,” she explains. “A date is all about bringing your best, most confident self… part of that is having an outfit that really makes you feel your best.”
What exactly that may look like will vary from person to person. If you love dresses, honor that. If you feel your best in a pair of jeans, then jeans are the answer. If you’re someone who keeps their outfits pretty low-key from day to day, show up as your authentic self in more casual yet polished wardrobe essentials like a button-up and flats. If you love stilettos and wear them on the regular, great! If you’re someone who, while wearing high-heels on a date, may think to yourself, I hope I don’t have to walk too far to the next bar, then a more walkable heel is the answer. The outfit shouldn’t be wearing you.
Everyday Ways You're Shortening Your Life
There are four everyday habits and factors that can accelerate the aging process. They're easy to avoid. Read on to find out more.
According to Ury, one of the biggest myths in dating is the idea of the spark. “As a dating coach, I talk to people after they’ve gone on dates, and what I often hear is he was so great, I really enjoyed the date… I’m not going to see him again,” she says. “The spark has become this all-encompassing term that means, I didn’t feel instant chemistry, I didn’t feel fireworks, and I believe it’s become one of the most problematic aspects of modern dating,” she explains. According to Ury, the spark can grow over time. “A lot of people are with someone they met years ago, or who they worked with, or who they were roommates with, and the spark can grow over time as you get to know someone,” she explains.
“Some people are also very sparky—they’re very hot, they’re very charming, they may even be very narcissistic, and they really give you this feeling of connection. So you assume the fact that you feel a spark with them is a good thing, but it might just be that they’re sparky, and they give that feeling to everyone,” she says. “It could also be that what you’re feeling is actually anxiety, that you’re confusing that feeling with butterflies, and you don’t know if this person likes you or not. You’re thinking that unknown feeling is the spark,” Ury explains that people also confuse the concept of a spark with the viability of a relationship. “That’s absolutely not true. It’s enough to get you in a relationship, but it’s definitely not enough to keep the relationship going.”
Can you eat your way to better mental health? A dietitian explains
If you want to feel happier and less stressed, here’s what to eat and what to limit, according to science.Research shows that fruit and veggie intake is tied to happiness levels. For example, one study found that on days people had higher intakes of fruits and veggies, they had better mental wellness compared to the days they said they ate less of these foods. Plus, when they ate healthier one day, happiness carried over into the next day, even if they weren’t eating as well.
“I believe that a lot of us suffer from dating blindspots, which are patterns of behavior or ways of thinking that hold us back from finding love,” explains Ury. “So, you could go on 50 first dates and not change your pattern.” To Ury, it isn’t just a numbers game. “What I recommend people should do is take an audit of their dating history… It’s not enough to keep dating, you have to make a plan to overcome [your dating blindspots], break them, and do something different in the future.” For starters, relieve yourself from sartorial stress with our guide to winter date night outfits. Whether you feel most comfortable in denim or a dress, there’s a suggestion to help you feel confident and comfortable on your (successful!) dates in the future. Get your head in the game with the winter date night outfits, below.
For the Denim Enthusiast
For the denim-obsessed, a good pair of jeans can be the key ingredient to achieving a confidence-inducing look. Invest in a dressed-up, polished pair of jeans from Khaite to have on hand for all your winter date night outfits. And, if you already own a pair of jeans that you love and feel great in, consider pairing them with low-key, walkable heeled boots, a sleek coat, and a blouse, or a slinky sweater— whichever makes you feel your best.
For the Dress-Lover
Some people feel best in a dress. When investing in a dress for a winter date night, opt for one that can go from day to night. Now, your arsenal has that no-fail dress you can reach for, no matter the date that makes its way onto your calendar.
For Those Who Prioritize Comfort
There’s enough to ruminate about ahead of a date, your outfit need not be one of them. If you want a one-and-done outfit yet dresses aren’t your thing, perhaps consider a sleek satin matching set that can be dressed up with heels, or down with sneakers. We like this option from Nanushka.
For the Minimalist
Sometimes, it’s an army of wardrobe essentials that can create a fuss-free outfit that makes you exude confidence. Perhaps it’s a crisp button-up and a low-key yet put-together striped sweater. Pair with a great pair of tailored trousers and some clean-lined jewelry to get your head in the game.
Want to Look Like a Street Style Star (and Bad Bunny) This Winter? Wear a Puffer
Bundle up for the chilly days ahead in a plush puffer jacket. See how stylish people are wearing theirs on the streets of Tokyo, Paris, and beyond.